Pearl: Well, you can talk anywhere! We’ve got a business to run. Pearl: We have fat-free shrimp if you want! Pearl: What do you gals want? We got all kindsa shrimp! Puff and Karen at the Shitty Shrimp, being served by Pearl) Squidward: Oh yes… that’s the good stuff, baby! Suddenly, the amount of photos Squidward is taking increases greatly) (He starts taking pictures as SpongeBob struggles to take his pants off, so a naked Patrick helps him get out of his underwear. Squidward: ABSOLUTELY! Why didn’t I think of that? Nyah-nyah-nyah! SpongeBob: Well, if you say so, Squidward… You often say, “I’m ready!”, but what does SpongeBob really think? Is he REALLY ready? The only way to find out is for you to strip, so we can see the real vulnerabilities, and so we can see some of those absorbent pores. Squidward: Think about it, SpongeBob: I’m going to make my artist’s depiction of the natural sponge: What Bob really looks like outside of the casual, happy demeanor. SpongeBob: (taking the tie off) Hey, Squidward, I don’t particularly think I need to take off all my clothes. Squidward: While you’re at it, you might as well take your pants off too. SpongeBob: Sure thing, Squiddy! I didn’t even go to work today! BAHAHAHA I’m going to need you to take off that tie. (Cut back to Squidward in his house, now fully-clothed, as he has set out a tripod in front of a white backdrop in his living room, on which SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting on) (she dials a number) Hi, Puffy… do you wanna go to the Shitty Shrimp tonight? …Hell yeah, I’ve got some more Silly Sheldon Stories for you today. Karen: God, all men are so self-entitled. (Krabs starts barking, and Karen picks up a phone) (Krabs’ eyes start to pulsate out of his antennae and his heart visibly starts pumping) He thinks that because I spend so much time with Ms. Krabs: What’s the matter with the walkin’ talkin’ HPV? (Plankton runs out of the Chum Bucket, sobbing, before Mr. Plankton: (tears up) AND SOMETIMES I THINK I DAMN WELL SHOULDN’T HAVE! Plankton: Well at least I can understand real EMOTION, Karen! Karen: If you weren’t such a puny parasite, maybe we wouldn’t have fights this often! (Squidward rubs his hands menacingly before it cuts to Plankton and Karen in the Chum Bucket, crossing their arms and not facing each other) SpongeBob: What an excellent idea, Squidward! I’ll bring him in now! Say, SpongeBob, bring Patrick in and we can get you to do some poses for me so I can draw you all how you really come off in person. Squidward: Delightfully devilish, Squidward. (A thought bubble appears, and something happens in it but it is all obscured by pixellation and censor bars) (He hands Squidward a piece of scrap paper and a pencil) Maybe you should draw something to really express your feelings onto paper! SpongeBob: Geez, Squidward, I didn’t know you were ableist. Squidward: How about I do something else, SpongeBob? Like have my peace and quiet not interrupted by you two spazatrons! (Cut back to SpongeBob in Squidward’s house) Snoop Dogg: This shizzle is too realizzle. (Cut to SpongeBob in an Oval Office type building holding a gun to the head of President Snoop Dogg) Squidward: Why do you only pay $200 total in tax? SpongeBob: Well I know you don’t like the more active stuff, Squidwardiard, so I figured you may want to play some more calming casual games. Squidward: Now why would I want to pay your taxes? SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, want to pay my taxes while me and Patrick blow bubbles? (SpongeBob bursts through Squidward’s window, holding bubbles and $200 in cash) Nyah! What’s next? Blowing bubbles whilst doing taxes? Those men pay mortgages and still go jellyfishing. Squidward: That better not be those knuckleheads SpongeBob and Patrick wanting to play on the weekends. (After laughing obnoxiously, Squidward steps out of bed - hesitantly - in his pajamas and starts to make himself some coffee, but can hear noise from outside) (The episode starts with a ringing alarm noise as Squidward wakes up, with massive purple bags under his eyes) Squidward gets SpongeBob and Patrick to pose nude for his pornographic paintings. "The Mystery of the Black Sponge Remade", also known as "The Ethical Dilemma of SpongeBob Pornography", is the eighth episode of the first season of Leader Plankton! Remade, and the eighth episode overall. Objectionable content includes: pornography
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